Is This Isle Esme?
by KendraAndGavinForEver
Summary: All the main characters of our favorite series PJO, HP, Kane Chronicals, Twlight, THG, and Fabhaven have been marooned on an island! How did they get there? Was this unfortunate event planned? I don't own any of the characters from any of the series.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! Thank you so much for reading! This is definitely not going to be a serious fanfic. Every character will be super OOC! This story is a Harry Potter/Fablehaven/Percy Jackson/Twilight/The Hunger Games/Eragon/Kane Chronicles crossover. 'FreakinPotter.7 and I are alternating writing each chapter, but the whole story will be on my fanfiction account. But every chapter I write will have my pen name at the bottom.**

**EVERYONE THAT DIED IS ALIVE. So like, Gavin died in the Fablehaven series, but he is alive in this fanfiction.**

**Chapter One: Mission**

Cho's POV

I slipped the black ski mask over my face, covering my features, making myself unrecognizable. Tonight, I was dared to do the ultimate prank. Normally it's not the clever Ravenclaws that stoop to the pranking level, but I lost a bet, okay?

As I was sneaking through the common room, I heard a really sassy voice behind me say, "Hey Cho. Are you fulfilling the dare?"

Ew. Luna Lovegood. Why is she so sassy these days? But more importantly . . . HOW DOES SHE KNOW ITS ME? I'M WEARING A TRUCKING SKI MASK AND EVERYTHING! "Shut Up, Luna!" I yelled at her. And for good measure, I punched her in the face. Then I dashed out of the common room and sprinted toward the Gryffindor tower.

When I arrived at the Gryffindor common room, I pulled out a list of previous passwords.

"Password?" the fat lady asked me, impatient.

"Uh . . . can you just let me in?"

"No, stupid."

"Why not?"

"You don't have a password."

"Just let me in."

"No. Only Gryffindors are permitted in this part of the castle, and if you were a Gryffindor, you would already know the trucking password! Now go away!"

"Not until you let me in."

"I will never let you in!"

"Why not?"

"GO AWAY!"

"Just let me in."

"YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T KNOW HOW SOMEONE COULD BE AS TRUCKING STUPID AS YOU!"

"That's low."

"JUST GO AW–"

"What's going on here?" I turned. Percy **(Percy Weasley, not Percy Jackson. Yet.) **was storming over here, looking angry. "Just let the poor girl in! She obviously just forgot the password!"

The fat lady looked angry and flustered, but she reluctantly opened the door.

"Now, I'll be off," Percy continued. "I've got to go and make out with Penelope Clearwater!"

"Uh . . . have fun?" I mumbled, as he skipped away.

Finally! I was in the common room!

It was late in the evening, around 3:00 am. But there was still one loner Gryffindor by the fireplace. I knew what I had to do.

"Hey Cho, what's that in your hand?" he asked me. "Cho, why are you coming at me with that frying pan?" he added, frightened now. "WHAT THE TRUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

I quickened my pace toward him, going to make this quick.

"GET THE TRUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

I brought the frying pan down on his thick skull. Hard.

I bent down over him, checking to see if he was still awake.

Nope. He's out cold. That's how skilled and deadly I am with a frying pan.

My eyes darted toward the staircases of the dormitories. No one came down. I guess if anyone heard me they were too sleepy to care. Or this kind of language was used a lot at this ungodly hour of the morning.

I tip toed up the boy's dormitory staircase. Aiming to get Harry and Ron first. Instead I found someone else.

"Sirius? Sirius Black?" Sirius was prancing around the dormitory in a frantic state. Obviously looking for something, and that something must have been extremely important.

"What?" he cried.

"Whoa dude. Calm down. Take a chill pill. I don't give a truck. But you look like a freaking unicorn."

"Well you would be freaking out too if you lost your most prized possession!"

Oh. He probably lost his wand. But that's weird how it's his most prized possession. I mean it may be an important object, but, like, my most important thing is my Littlest Pet Shop.

"Dude, calm down and I'll help you find your mom - I mean wand."

"What? Wand? No dude, I lost my pen."

"Dude! Your skipping around this room! And you just lost a pen! Just buy another one! In fact you'll probably find one on the ground in about 12 seconds!"

"I don't think you understand! Here let me help you:

Lost pen = no pen

No pen = no notes

No notes = no study

No study = fail

Fail = no diploma

No diploma = no work

No work = no money

No money = no food

No food = skinny

Skinny = ugly

Ugly = no love

No love = no marriage

No marriage = no children

No children = alone

Alone = depressed

Depressed = sickness

Sickness = death

LESSON LEARNED: DO NOT LOOSE YOUR PEN OR YOU WILL DIE!"

"Uh . . ." I groaned. My patience was running thin. I think I'll end this conversation and get on with the task at hand.

Slowly, I raise the frying pan above my head, and while Sirius's back is turned, I whip the pan down onto the tip of his head. Yep, out cold.

I was shocked to find Harry still sleeping through all the ruckus. Then I peered over at

Ron's bed. It was all I could do to keep from screaming. Ron was meditating on the edge of his bed.

"What the truck!" I screeched.

His eyelids snapped open, like pop tarts out of the toaster. "Excuse me?"

"What are you doing!"

"It's called meditating, stupid!"

"Yeah, I know what it is! Why are you doing it?"

"I don't know. I felt like it."

Deciding not to waste any more precious time discussing meditation with the stupid one, I smacked him on the head with my frying pan.

I've wasted far too much time chatting about stupid things with Sirius and ugly stupid Ginger over here, so I don't waste any time thrusting the frying pan on Harry's head.

I guess I'll just leave the bodies in here until I get Hermione's, too. Then I'll ditch them on the island.

Once I speed down the twisted spiral staircase and into the common room, I found the loner Gryffindor still on the ground, with a thick trail of drool, spilling down his chin. Shuddering at the disgustingness, I quickened my pace and made it into the girl's dormitory within a minute.

I took a breather outside the dark mahogany **(;D THG) **door. What was i going to find in this dormitory? A crazy chipmunk? A unicorn? I was almost afraid to open the door, but it had to be done.

I took a deep breath and held it, then stuck my head through the now ajar door and saw . . .

Nothing. What? I was beginning to think that the Grryffindor house was crazy. I suppose that it's just the boys.

Quickly jumping through the door, it stuck me odd that the Gryffindor girls sleep soundly and cozily. I wish it was the same for my dormitory. Ben Dover **(lol! If u don't get it, say his name really fast!) **snores far too much for my liking.

I wanted this wretched duty to end quickly and stealthily so I whacked Hermione on the head with my trusty sidekick, dragged her unconscious body out of the protection of her covers, and tossed it over my shoulder, fire-man style. Then I slipped quietly out of the dormitory and sprinted the rest of the way to the opposite dormitory.

When I arrived at the boys dorm, I kept the quick pace, not slowing down one bit to grab Harry and Ron's bodies. Bursting through the door I frantically clutched Harry's arm and Ron's toe, and turned to leave.

Seamus was sitting up, stock-straight in his bed, looking stunned. Dean was a bit more groggy, but found his tongue from the cat faster. "Hey!"

"I GOTTA GO!" I yelled back at him, dashing through the boys dormitory and not decreasing my pace one bit while I sprinted through the castle.

I bounded across the grounds of Hogwarts, racing to get to the Hogsmead barrier. My ride was waiting for me there.

"Yes!" I whispered, as I spotted the helicopter. I glanced back at Harry, Ron and Hermione, tripping over Harry's nose in the process. "Truck you, Harry!" I muttered. Other than their arms flailing wildly, and Harry's newly broken nose they looked pretty good for being dragged behind me.

I was nearing the helicopter now, and I raced toward it faster. I yanked the three musketeers up the ladder, and fell down on the shinny, flat, steel floor of my ride.

5 hours later we arrived at the island. I was supposed to just ditch the bodies on the island, and the leave. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. So I didn't. I did exactly as I was told.

The strange thing was, I saw 4 other identical helicopters, all dropping off a few human-shaped silhouettes. What had I gotten myself into?

~**KendraAndGavinForEver~**


	2. Chapter 2

Zeus' POV

The Secret Island and Artemis' Secret

I'm mad. No I'm not going to throw a trucking thunderbolt at you but I am going to tell you. You see these demi-gods are trucking pissing me off! Sorry I better watch my trucking language! Oh, shoot sorry ok starting NOW! Well ANYWAY I'm super pissed because these little runts just come in and steal my thunder (see what I did there)! I mean HHHEEELLLLLLOOOO supreme creator of everything and what do I get? NOTHING.

And, it's all thanks to my two very annoying brothers. Fish head's son has been causing havoc for YEARS now! And of course he's got a girl in his life, I think it's one of Athena's but what do I know… So NOW he's all happy and we can't have that now can we? Fish head jr. also has this satyr friend and Cyclops friend or whatever so he's on cloud nine. Wait no scratch that last line I'm the ruler he's not allowed up there!

He's also got a friend or two of my deathly brother Hades kids. Gross right? I can't stand his breath! Oh sorry off task. Ugh, whatever there names are… It sickens me how happy FH jr. is.

My own daughter is a friend of his! Thalia the girl I really thought would shine! UGH! I was even considering making her a goddess! Two Zeus's doesn't sound half bad now does it? But, will my life ever give me what I want? NO! She had to run off to Artemis! The nerve of that woman! If she just got over the fact that Sirius Black is a crazy freak that went into hiding and is probably dead for all I know! If she got over her little crush and heartbreak she wouldn't be stealing my children with that stupid saying, no one believes it.

Oh, where are my manners? Here let me tell you what I mean. You see Artemis and Athena, the two-smarty pants'; got there Hogwarts letters as something called a muggleborn. They went off to Hogwarts in the same year that Sirius Black went in, what are the odds. Well of course they were sorted into Ravenclaw why wouldn't they? Well those two, Sirius and Artemis, fell in love in they're 4th year and kept dating until he was sent to Azkaban, wizard jail. She was heartbroken! I remember she visited him once, she was crying her eyes out that Christmas feast Athena couldn't calm her down, and still they never broke up. There have been rumors that Sirius was dead. Of course she doesn't believe he's dead, that's the reason she's never had children with another man that's why she doesn't believe in boys, and that's why her mortal form is young, for Sirius Black.

Of course her obsession with moons is out there… I think Sirius liked moons… Maybe it was their thing… How do I know? ANYWAY back to me.

Which brings me back to my awful smelling brother! **Mental note- Make his life miserable!** If only would kill the rotten little rat! Artemis wouldn't be so upset! She'd probably get over it right? Then that woman wouldn't be stealing my children! Well child…

Well today I've decided this is the final straw with these demi-gods. I transformed myself into a mortal and grabbed the only thing I could afford, a frying pan and off I went to camp half-blood. I do have to say my mortal self does look pretty sharp. I have shaggy blond hair, bright blond hair almost white like a cloud. My eyes are a stormy grey-ish blue-ish color and I'm not pale one bit! Of course I also have that bright orange camp half-blood t-shirt so I can actually pass off as a camper. **Mental note- Change the color to a blue orange is so NOT my color!**

I have decided to stick them all on an island. This would prove my daughters strength and maybe I could convince everyone to making her a goddess? Who knows? Hopefully Artemis taught her good and she'll wipe out Percy and his annoying gang of misfits.

The time is 2 am and I'm sneaking into Poseidon's camp cabin. There he was the freak of all freaks. Percy Jackson, or as Dionysus would say Peter Johnson. He was sleeping quite peacefully (a little to peacefully if you asked me). It felt good smacking him with a frying pan, oh, finally sweet revenge. This was going to be a good night.

Next was his half-brother Tyson. I smirked as I smacked him right in his eye. Oh, how THAT was going to hurt in the morning!

Using the wandless magic that Athena had taught me I easily levitated those two lazy sacks out of the cabin that smelt of dead fish out and stacked them in the fire pit ready to get the others.

I am truly a genius the huntresses were staying here for the night. Score some points for the Z man! As quietly as I possibly could I snuck past those filthy wolves that Artemis liked, maybe Sirius was a werewolf… **Mental note- Ask Artemis!** Luckily for me, again wow that's a record, my traitor of a daughter shared a tent with Hades kid. As quietly and as smoothly as I could I smacked them both and levitated them on top of Fish heads kids.

Temptation got the best of me I had to see Artemis. I peaked into her cabin and I was very shocked I almost tripped over that blasted wolf! I quietly cursed under my breath and sniggered. Artemis is not the girl she says she is!

The first thing you would notice is that she was cuddling with a stuffed black dog. **Mental note- Have a serious talk with her.** She had her bow and arrows in arms distance, but that was expected of course. She had a small collection of things behind her bed, well cot thing. There were pictures of her and Sirius, moving pictures, and at least 3 of them! Weird… Well of course she had that painting of her and Apollo and a picture of the moon but she's had those for years we've all seen it. NO wonder no ones allowed in there! Oh and there was also an opened box that looked like you could fit jewelry in there! WELL if you looked at her you could see she was wearing a necklace with something written on it, I feared that if I got to close I would probably get an arrow in the head. Artemis the goddess of NO men was deeply madly and so desperately in love with Sirius Black! She looked like a little kid, poor girl. But, this is about MY master plan.

As quickly and quietly as I could I darted away and into Athena's cabin. There on the table asleep cuddling a book was Annabeth. "Easy Peasy" I had whispered under my breath. Annabeth had stirred for a second but fell asleep soon after. I was holding my breath. After she snuggled her book again I breathed out "Truck that was close," and whacked her with my frying pan and put her on top of Thalia.

Grover and Nico were hard, talk about a handful! I started to wander into the woods and you could see, a few feet away a MASSIVE bonfire! I mean trucking HUGE! Oh, sorry… Anyway they were, umm, dancing around it and throwing fish and birds in it. No really! It was freaking weird… I had no idea what to do! What would you do? Well I didn't have time to react because Grover saw me and got all wide-eyed. "Ohhhhh, Nico look we could sacrifice him!" Grover squealed in happiness.

I got kind of scared then. I mean if you were a god and weird creatures wanted to kill you in your mortal skin you'd get scared too don't lie. It's a long story what happens after that. BAM! Next thing I knew I was tied to a pole with ropes (kind of like when you carry sheep or stuff). I must have been unconscious, truck.

My frying pan was in Nico's hands. I told you I NEVER get what I want! Ok, well I am a god. I mumbled some ancient Greek words and faster than a cheetah two thin beautiful lightning bolts hit them smack on the head and they fell right down! Another one for the Z man oh ya!

Well as clever as I am I forgot that they were holding me so I was falling straight into the fire. Truck. More ancient words and the fire was out not a second before I hit it. Truck yes! I grabbed my frying pan and dragged those two freaks back and on the pile.

But, no, this was the hardest part. Remembering what Athena had said about using the floo network. Now as I recalled earlier I was going to put them on an island. You might be thinking 'if Fish head owns the sea wont he know?' But I AM a GENIUS after all don't you forget.

You see I have an island my own private island that Poseidon doesn't and will never know about. It's pretty amazing, almost as amazing as myself. It's very remote and it'll be very hard for someone to swim back to shore and there will be monsters that no one will get past. Well that's my plan anyway. **Mental note- GENIUS!**

I grabbed a fistful of floo powder and carefully sat on top of Nico. I threw it in the fire pit and mumbled my secret location. It was awful. **Mental note- Never EVER do that again. **You just kept spinning around and around and around! I swear if we hadn't gotten there then I would've fallen off my pile and dear me who knows where I would've gone! That would have been terrible! Now, my master plan was almost complete. ALMOST.

Finally my last step, I had changed back into my godly handsome self and used my powers of the wind to separate all of them to different sides of the island making sure that my daughter was the only one with a weapon. Seeing as they were all still fast asleep I sat there for a moment on the waves thinking 'How in the Hades am I going to get back!' But, remember I am a GENIUS! Well sort of, not at this particular moment. Being the God of the sky I really can just grab a cloud and use it to catch the wind and fly back up to my domain, but I can't be smart all the time! So, by doing just that I caught a cloud and smirked as I left the island laughing like a maniac and sent a huge thunderstorm on the island.

Hey if they're asleep they won't notice right? Might as well have a LITTLE fun right?

**7HarryFreakin'Potter7**


End file.
